Tuesday, January 20, 2009

7 Things us Conservatives can do on Obamania Day!!!

To my Conservative Friends:

Well, it’s here…. The day has finally come and we can’t escape it… The One is finally taking the oath to become the 44th President of the United States and the libs can’t contain themselves… You can sense their giddiness on the streets, in the stores and on the train…. They hold out their copy of the NY Slimes extra wide to make sure we know they are reading about the Second Coming and they want you to see it and say – “Hey – isn’t this just Wuuuuunderful???” And then can say “Thank the Lord for this, so now the World can like us again…” Gag me now, puh-lease!!!

So what are we Conservatives to do today so we don’t have to carry around the barf bag while everyone fawns over the empty suit that has accomplished absolutely nothing and done it so well???? Well, as you could have guessed from the title, I have a few suggestions for us to get through this day without getting an ounce of vomit on the laptop:

1. Catch up on some deeeeep reading - When you get to work, crack open that draw of all those technical manuals/seminar binders that you put aside for years and said “One day, I’ll read these….” Well folks, today’s the day…. Trust me, you’ll be so tired of reading this boring crap, you’ll go home not touch the TV or radio and go right to bed and miss the entire charade of the One’s Coronation!!!

2. Harass the homeless – Hey, they bother us every other day of the year, so the one day the are busy drooling over Barry’s big day, lets ask them if they have some spare time to chat.

Ask them how the job market is and how their investments of aluminum cans is doing in relation to the S&P 500…. You can also ask them if they think Barry’s going to pay for the mortgage on their cardboard hut and gas for their shopping cart…. If nothing else, you’ll sure to find some intriguing characters…

3. Hang out with some Goodfellas - If you are home today, go out and rent the Godfather Trilogy, Casino and Goodfellas and engross yourself in Mafia Mania for the whole day as your TV is on DVD mode all day and you become like the “Man in the bubble” and inoculate yourself from the spectacle in DC…

4. Plug in to tune out - Download some new tunes and sync up that IPod and crank it all day with the new music that you have not heard, peppered with some oldies you haven not hear for awhile… And take a tip from our teenagers and don’t let those ear-plugs out of your head all day…. You’ll be amazed how easy it is to tune out the world. You will return tomorrow to the final frontier. A place where no man has gone before…. Obamaland!!!!

5. Like Gazzo’s driver in Rocky said –“Hey Rock – Take her to the Zoo!!!” - Take the kids, the spouse or anyone you can find and engross yourself in the wild for the day. You can become educated and tire yourself out all day and have no energy to even turn the news on and have to listen to them drool about how wonderful the Messiah is and how we are all saved from ourselves… Hey, hanging out with animals beats watching hysterical, flag burning hippies rejoice all day…

6. Go to an amusement park – This one is for those of you in the south or warm climates because for us in the north, we have our fannies chapped from the frigid temps (so much for global warming you politically-correct, enviro-crazed surrender-monkeys).

But the amusement park can fill your day quite nicely with the roller-coasters and Ferris-wheels… And before you leave, take a walk through the Fun-House – soon to be renamed the White House!!!
7. Call in sick - Stay in bed all day with the curtains drawn. You always said you need a day to catch up on your sleep – Well, here is your chance…. You’ll be back tomorrow refreshed and ready to join the fight of the loyal opposition…

I am sure a lot of you have other suggestions and I am all ears to hear other ways we can get away from the hysteria and the fawning over the most celebrated, hyped phony did-nothing this country has ever seen…..

Just my thoughts…

GOP Mike


  1. Wow... pretty well said. I think I like the 'hanging out with the animals' suggestion, but I have to work, so I'll go for working while listening to some tunes. Keep up the good work!

  2. Thx for the comment Barb....

    I think I am also opting for your solution...

    Plug in and zone out....

  3. Take a friend at the shooting range and introduce him/her to the most important Civil Right written in the US Constitution and not coincidentaly, the Civil Right Obama, Biden and the Demonrats hate most: The Right To Keep And Bear Arms.

  4. Harass the homeless? Niiiiice. Classy.

  5. I can't believe you missed the main one that's been suggested: Call in Conservative! Republicans all over the country were urged to make a stand starting with their employer. Impossible for our house because 1) I am a Stay-at-home mom and calling in anything but dead is not an option and 2) my husband couldn't do it because he'd rather Call In Employed...especially in today's economy. Still...those who are lucky enough to know their employers would sympathize...they could have made the Conservative plea.

  6. Hey Mike,

    Another day the stock market takes a tumble. My 401k is down almost 40%. Now, I found out my house is not worth what I thought it was so I will never be able to sell it in this market. My house is the one thing I thought would never loose its value. So mike I like to hear what you think of our state of our economy. What is going on with the stock market did the hedge funds and short sellers destroy the market? Have all these mortgage brokers destroyed the housing market as well? Please give us some of your logical conservative advise....

  7. Pro-gun & and generally all around "arm" fan democrat here. (except that I don't value mere tools over other liberties).

    It is especially amusing to see conservatives caress and try to feel better and empowered to get over the trauma of the election by buying/shooting guns. But look, let me break it down for you from an evil liberal:

    If "teh evil federal government" really wanted you dead, it would come with something armored, probably having on top something responding to the call word "autocannon" and with the news listing your pedophile exploits making even your conservative friends cheer. (who are so big on positivist fact checking)