Thursday, October 13, 2016

Playing NOW - The GREATEST Fraud Ever Perpetrated on America!

Your Phony Candidate & her Business Partner in Crime
To my Conservative Friends:

Imagine this - You are a liberal democrat (I know - humor me!) & work in politics.  You have worked for many democratic candidates in the past and you just landed your dream Job!

You are now the Campaign Manager for a Presidential candidate! You sit in your nice $400 leather spinning chair at campaign headquarters as you ponder your strategy for winning the Presidency of the United States.

Your candidate is not an attractive person.  She is robotic, cold, rarely smiles, has a screeching voice and lies like a Persian rug.   She is an awful campaigner that has real difficulty connecting with everyday Americans.

So, to win this race on your candidate's personality is not an option!

OK, no worries.  There are a lot of ways to win a campaign, right??

Jared is "Looking" for a Job?
You need some energy to think!  You head downstairs for your favorite Caramel Macchiato Latte at the Starbucks from Jared who 'just' graduated 3 years ago.  You get your drink and hurry to get back to your office so you can get your strategy down!

If personality is a dead-end, you say to yourself that we can make this about your candidates past record!  Yeah, that will work you try to convince yourself!

But aside from her atrocious personality traits, your candidate has a more than a checkered past and record since she entered public life as the 'wife' of a charismatic Arkansas lawyer who has a penchant for abusing women and an inability to keep his testicles in his trousers.

Here is just a partial list of some of the scandals your candidate has been embroiled in over the years:


Whoah!!  Your head is now spinning.  You start to get a cold sweat after going through that list that would make Bernie Madoff and Charles Manson seem like choir boys!

So, you really can't make this election on your candidates past record as it is probably the most offensive list of failures and corruption of anyone to ever run for any office anywhere in the world.

You finish your Latte and throw the cup in the trash.  You start looking around your desk for a copy of the New York Times or your copy of 'Rules for Radicals' by Saul Alinsky for guidance and comfort.

You are now in trouble as you start to think how the HELL are you going to drag this unattractive, unlikeable, corrupt screeching hag over the finish line??

A personality campaign sure the hell ain't gonna cut it.  Your candidate's record surely won't be the path to victory.  So, what else???  Issues you say to yourself!  This is how we'll win!

We could just keep it on the issues right?

Liberalism is a Mental Disease!
Well, no.  The policies your candidate supports are the same failed, tired, race-baiting, class warfare agenda that has been tried again and again including the last 8 years where 70% of Americans feel they are a failure and America is on the 'wrong-track".

So a policy or issues campaign will certainly not be your answer as Americans are starting to wake up that liberal tax and spend, class warfare policies do not work.

The nerve of the unwashed masses!  These 'plebes" should understand that the all knowing, all powerful federal government is the answer to all their dreams!

Frustrating as it may seem, they are starting to become wise to our schemes and now we can't win this campaign by humping proven failed liberal policies - rats!!!

You are now in FULL-PANIC MODE!!  You have this great new job and if you could just find a way to win, you will most likely get a cushy spot in your candidate's administration and never have to worry about job security again as you will bank that federal pension and the perks that come along with being a member of the ruling elites!

But you now realize you can't win.  Your candidate is basically un-electable!  She is a hideous person. She is corrupt to her core.  She has a record of failures that can't be explained away even to the most gullible low-information voter despite the help of media shills that we have on the DNC payroll.

So, you start to head over to the candidate's office to tell her that she can't win.  There is no strategy for her to convince 50.1% of the Sheeple that she should be the 45th President of the United States. There is no way to con these commoners that they should fall over to bow in obedience to their Queen.

As you pass the door to your office, you notice your latte cup in the trash next to the National Enquirer.

And then it hits you - Let's trash our opponent with bullshit lies and distractions!!  This will keep the attention off our hideous candidate and simply make it about the shit we can find or make up about him!

It could work!  It had to work!  It was our only shot!

So, you run back to your $400 chair, spin it around to your phone and immediately get on the horn with the media arm of your campaign - The anchors at MSNBC, CNN, ABC and CBS.  You also call your media shills at the Washington Post and the New York  Times to discuss your devious plan to absolutely destroy your opponent with lies and distractions.

Journalism is Dead in America Today
You tell them that the American electorate is so dumb, so shallow and so disengaged that they will follow anything we spoon-feed them and run with that narrative.

They will ignore every single important issue about the campaign to focus on these salacious, fabricated stories that have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the country and their lives.

You tell your media partners that we will convince these redneck, bible-thumping rubes that our opponent's plans and policies are not important to their lives.  It is this crap that we are giving you that's important!  It's 30-year old stories and private conversations he's had that's important, not the corruption, theft and crimes of our candidate that matter!

Yes, it was brilliant.  A parlor trick of epic proportions!  A scam of the century.  It will work.  It is the only way we can elect the most corrupt criminal candidate our country has ever seen.

After the entire team is briefed and on board, you hang up the phone and sigh in complete satisfaction. You have your plan and your media minions will carry it out to a tee!

You rise from your $400 chair and head down to see Jared for a celebratory Latte!  You pay for your drink and tell Jared to keep the change as he gives you the obligatory "Trump is a Racist" fist-bump.

As you are leaving,  you notice the TV on the wall over the scones and Croissants airing the Clinton News Network as it goes to its "Breaking News" that your opponents 8th grade teacher says he looked up her skirt in 1961!

You take a sip from the steaming cup, grin ear to ear and say to yourself, God Bless Americans.

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If you do not think this story is extremely close to what is going on today, you and Jared will have great careers as Baristas for the next 30 years!

Wake up America and don't fall for the women behind the curtain!

Just my thoughts...

GOP Mike
















8 comments:

  1. The poster should have read: "I'm filthy rich. I am white. I'm nominally Christian. I get huge donations from big corporation I voted for the Iraq war. I am everything conservatives hate and yet I am the only one they want."

    ReplyDelete